if I just get enough to sleep, I'll feel better.

I keep thinking if I just get enough to sleep, I'll feel better. Stronger. Able to do things. While this was true "before", it definitely is not longer true.

I also think if I have a really strong cup of coffee, it'll give me energy and I'll be able to do Things. Also no longer true.

Now when I get up, I'm immediately feel,like the ship,is listing and I'm in danger of falling.

****

The only time I feel normal is when I'm sitting down and doing absolutely nothing.

If I get up, I'm dragging the 50 pound weight being me.

Hands are weak, holding a kitchen knife and cutting vegetables my wrists feel flaccid. Thumbs are no longer firm, turning the key in a lock or starting the car has become a two handed procedure.

Right leg and right foot now pointing 20 degrees to the side

Voice is now almost completely unintelligible.